6 NSFW Sexual Cocktails That Taste as Dirty as They Sound

🍆🍹 Filthy, Free & Fruity: 6 Explicit Cocktail Recipes That’ll Leave You Wetter Than a British Summer 🌧️🇬🇧

Welcome, you thirsty lot! If you’re tired of the same boring G&Ts or sickly sweet Woo Woos, brace yourselves for cocktails as explicit as your search history. These provocative tipples are about to turn your boring drinks night into an absolute filth-fest. No judgement—this is a safe space, you dirty little cocktail fiends. Ready? Grab your shakers, let’s get sticky!

1. Moist Juice 🍹

Flavour: Tropical, juicy, and slightly tangy—basically what you’d taste if a beach orgy was blended into a glass.

Ingredients:

• 60ml coconut rum
  
• 30ml peach schnapps
  
• 60ml pineapple juice
  
• 30ml orange juice
  
• 15ml fresh lime juice
  

Instructions: Give these ingredients a good hard shake with ice, then pour seductively into a tall glass. Garnish with an orange wedge that looks like it’s seen more action than your ex on a Friday night. Dribble responsibly.

2. Jizz Fizz 🍸

Flavour: Creamy, bubbly, and deeply questionable—basically, the cocktail equivalent of that 2 a.m. Tinder swipe you’re ashamed of (but secretly proud).

Ingredients:

• 30ml vanilla vodka
  
• 30ml Irish cream liqueur
  
• 30ml single cream (or coconut cream for vegan kinksters)
  
• Prosecco to top (60–90ml)
  

Instructions: Shake vodka, cream, and Irish cream together until suitably filthy, strain into a flute, and top with prosecco. Finish with whipped cream or white chocolate sprinkles. It’s the garnish no one asked for but everyone’s secretly gagging for.

3. The Slutty Splash 🍹

Flavour: Fruity, flirty, dangerously drinkable. It’s the drinkable equivalent of a cheeky sext at work.

Ingredients:

• 45ml watermelon vodka
  
• 30ml cranberry juice
  
• 15ml fresh lime juice
  
• Soda water to top
  

Instructions: Build this cheeky minx over ice in a tall glass. Stir gently. Garnish with a cherry pierced provocatively by a cocktail sword. Bonus points if you moan between sips (just not too loud; the neighbours are listening).

4. Cream Pie Colada 🍸

Flavour: Sweet, thick, tropical dessert fantasy. Think pina colada—but naughtier and messier, with zero dignity included.

Ingredients:

• 60ml coconut rum
  
• 30ml vanilla vodka
  
• 60ml pineapple juice
  
• 30ml coconut cream
  
• 1 scoop vanilla ice cream (go full slut—no shame)
  

Instructions: Blend it hard and fast with ice until smooth. Pour into your curviest glass and drizzle chocolate sauce seductively around the rim. Top it off with whipped cream. Straws are optional—embrace the mess.

5. The Tongue Twister 🍸

Flavour: Sweet, spicy, hits you from behind—like a naughty quickie in the pub loo: thrilling, fiery, and instantly regrettable.

Ingredients:

• 30ml cinnamon whiskey (e.g., Fireball)
  
• 30ml honey liqueur
  
• 30ml fresh lemon juice
  
• Small pinch of cayenne pepper or chilli powder
  

Instructions: Shake vigorously (think wrist action) and strain into a rocks glass or a cheeky shot glass. Sugar and chilli rim optional, but highly recommended if you’re feeling extra filthy. This one leaves your mouth tingling harder than your latest questionable hookup.

6. Slippery When Wet 🍸

Flavour: Citrus-smooth with a cool finish. Like your mate after a three-day bender in Ibiza—refreshingly questionable and highly slippery.

Ingredients:

• 45ml vodka
  
• 15ml blue curaçao
  
• 30ml fresh lemon juice
  
• 15ml simple syrup
  
• Splash of coconut water (around 20ml)
  

Instructions: Shake everything except the coconut water. Strain into a martini glass lightly misted with coconut water, and garnish with a lemon twist that’s been through the wringer. It should look as rough as you do after a weekend sesh in Magaluf.

Final Words of Wisdom (or lack thereof):

So there you have it, you absolute legends: six explicit cocktails ready to spice up any occasion—whether it’s a messy hen night, a raunchy lads’ weekend, or simply an excuse to scandalise your prudish neighbour. Drink responsibly, or don’t—I’m not your mum. Just promise you’ll make it as filthy, funny, and unforgettable as humanly possible.

Cheers, you filthy animals! 🍆🥂✨